My Minami a love letter, translated

I left the Netherlands on December 23rd and arrived in Japan on the 24th — all for you.

When I first saw you again, you were standing at the wrong exit. My heart skipped a beat. After months of talking online, suddenly it was real again. I could tell you were nervous — you didn't even know if a hug was appropriate. And me? I had to keep my cool and stop myself from lifting you off the ground right there.

You had done your nails in this beautiful burgundy red with silver ornaments. I felt like the luckiest guy alive.

On the way back to the hotel, you fell asleep on my shoulder a couple of times. It was the first real physical contact between us, and it made me burn from the inside. It felt good.

When we finally got to the hotel, I unboxed some gifts I brought for you. You opened a Lego set and it was the cutest thing — watching you fully focused, trying to understand and finish each step. It's weird, but I felt like a proud dad every time you finished a page and started cheering.

Even though I was completely exhausted, I couldn't bring myself to sleep. I wouldn't want to miss a single second with you for the world. Every moment felt special. I caught myself staring at you — a lot, and for way too long. I felt creepy at times, but I couldn't help it. It felt right. You were mine... at least almost.

When you finally finished your Lego, we ordered sushi. My first meal in Japan, and I got to share it with the most beautiful girl. You were supposed to head home, but the little annoying bastard that I am, I kept hugging and kissing you just to waste a little more time. You must've regretted meeting me that day.

We watched a movie together — or at least I watched a movie, because my cute little Minami was out like a light, totally in dreamland. Soon after, I joined you on the couch.

When we both woke up, we decided to watch the movie again. At some point the mood shifted and we got a little intimate. I still think about that night a lot. It was special, natural, it felt right — and above all, not expected.

We slept a long time after a good night. And that was my first day back in Japan, to meet the love of my life.

When I look at you, I sometimes think about what my heart has become since I met you. And the only way I can describe it is a forest — quiet, endless, alive.

Every time you smiled, it felt like another tree grew inside me, strong and full of life. And somewhere along the way, you carved your name into every single one of them.

Now, even when I close my eyes, I can feel you everywhere — in the wind, in the warmth of the light that filters through the leaves, in the stillness between my thoughts.

Before you, that place was empty. Just open ground with nothing to hold onto. But you planted something in me without even trying. And now it grows every single day — every time you laugh, every time you say my name, every time you fall asleep on a call and I just listen to you breathe.

I don't know how to explain what you've done to me, Minami. But I know that whatever this feeling is, it's the most real thing I've ever felt. And it's yours. All of it. Every tree, every leaf, every root — it all belongs to you.

It always will.

The time in Japan moved fast. After two days in Tokyo, it was time for our trip to Osaka — and Osaka changed everything.

On the Shinkansen toward Osaka, you gave me a letter. The first letter I've ever received of its kind. It was so beautiful it brought tears to my eyes. The way you conveyed your feelings moved me in a way I can't put into words. I still read that letter from time to time — it reminds me of what love truly means.

It was in Osaka that I asked you to be my girlfriend. And you said yes. I don't think I'll ever forget that moment — December 26th, the day you officially became mine and I became yours.

We saw so many beautiful things together. We explored the city, laughed until our stomachs hurt, and lost ourselves in Universal Studios like two kids with no worries in the world. We even took a day trip to Kyoto, where we wore kimonos together. Walking beside you that day felt like stepping into another world — one where it was just us, and time didn't exist.

We never made it to the Nara deer. But that's okay — we'll save that for next time. That's a promise.

But Osaka wasn't only happy times. I made mistakes. I lacked communication and didn't respect your boundaries the way I should have. I was disrespectful and lacked empathy, and I still feel sincerely guilty for what I did. You deserved better in that moment, and I'm sorry.

But here's what I also know — that was our first real argument, our first low moment. And instead of breaking us, it made us stronger. It taught us how to talk to each other, how to listen, and how to grow together. I'm not proud of what happened, but I'm proud of what we became because of it.

You make me want to be better. And I will be.

After you left Osaka, I felt empty. The city didn't feel the same without you in it.

Since we couldn't spend New Year's together, I decided to stay in Osaka. But looking back at it now, I should've just come back to Tokyo with you. I can't turn back time — but if I could've spent just one more day, one more hour, one more minute, even a single extra second with you, it would've all been worth it.

All I could think about — even when drunk, going out with friends, drinking at bars — was you. I still remember being close to blacking out when the clock hit midnight, but still finding the strength to go to the bathroom and try to send you a heartfelt message. Because it wasn't just a New Year's to me. It was the start of a new chapter — our first full year together as a couple.

After the unbearable loneliness without you, I decided to leave Osaka early. I left my friends behind without a second thought. All of it was meaningless without you.

You were my main objective.

When I finally came back to Tokyo on January 2nd, even though you were busy, you decided to bring your school supplies and come visit me.

We were both sitting at the table. We ordered food, cuddled a little, and then — we both got to work. You on school, me on my work. Side by side, in comfortable silence.

I remember looking at you — so focused, so determined — and something lit up inside me. A small candle, quiet but warm. Watching you work hard like that, I didn't just admire you. I could see a future with you. It's hard to put into words, but in that ordinary, unremarkable moment — two people sitting at a table, doing their own thing — I realized I wanted you for always.

Not just for the exciting moments. Not just for the trips and the adventures. But for this. The quiet. The everyday. The sitting next to you while life happens around us.

That's when I knew — this is it. You're it.

The days after went by so fast — it's really unfair. Shibuya Sky, teamLab, Disney — one unforgettable moment after another, and before we knew it, it was already January 5th.

I ruined Disney a little by being sick. I remember feeling absolutely awful, but I had been looking forward to it so much that I just had to go with you and suck it up. I did a bad job at that. I felt guilty for falling asleep — but it was the only way my body could feel a little better. I was exhausted. I'm sorry for that.

After Shibuya Sky, we went shopping and ended up buying a ring together. A ring that — as we speak — someone has already broken. You know who you are.

But don't worry. I'll buy you a better one. One that doesn't break. One that properly conveys my feelings for you. Although honestly, there is no ring expensive or beautiful enough to truly show my love for you. Maybe one with a diamond the size of Mount Fuji — but that's not very practical, is it? :P

Be patient with me. I'll take care of you.

The days after were a bit empty when it came to activities. We spent a lot of time together — you studying and me being an annoying pervert. But honestly? Those were some of the most perfect days.

I caught myself staring at you again while you were working. Laying next to you felt natural — like it was always supposed to be that way. There's a type of calm you only get when you're alone in your own personal space, completely safe, completely yourself. But somehow, you managed to give me that calm just by being there.

It's a certain type of aura that I just love to be around. And I honestly miss it as I type all of this out in detail. I miss the peace you gave me when we were together. The silence that didn't need to be filled. The warmth of just existing next to you.

I hope you can always be my happy place.

I have to admit — I was nervous. Really nervous. Meeting your mom properly, your grandma, even your friend. It all felt like such a big moment. But in the end, it was natural. They welcomed me, and I felt it.

What really bothered me was that I couldn't speak the language. You're surrounded by such kind, warm people, and I wish I could've properly spoken with them. Someday, I will. I want to give them the respect of having a real conversation in their own language. That's a goal I'm working toward — for you, for them, for us.

The days before, I went shopping for a suit. I wanted to look right, to feel right, to match the importance of the day. And then I saw you — makeup on, dressed in that beautiful kimono — and I fell in love all over again.

You looked stunning. And the thing is, it feels like your beauty grows by the day. Every time I look at you, I fall a little more. I get more excited, more motivated to be with you, to be my best, to try my hardest.

You just being you has had such a positive impact on my life, it's indescribable. You don't even have to try. You just exist, and everything around you gets better — especially me.

After Coming of Age Day, the realization started to kick in. You were about to get very busy with school, and I was leaving soon. Two very unfortunate things happening at the same time. We both realized the time we'd get to see each other would lessen... or so we thought.

For two or three days we couldn't see each other. But then, somehow, you magically had time again. You came over, spent time with me, spent nights. I tried to motivate you with your schoolwork — and after, we could cuddle, sleep together, and watch movies.

Time moved even faster.

I ended up feeling so much love for you that I decided to buy you a phone and your friend's airport ticket. It was impulsive — very impulsive. But I don't regret a single thing about it. I hope to give you even more someday.

Our last couple of nights were lovely. You were studying, we ordered food together, and we just laughed. A lot. I think the best memories I have are of laughing with you. Over how I pronounced something wrong. Over how you blush when I give you a compliment. Those little things are unforgettable — and arguably the things I miss most of all.

It's not the grand moments that stay with me the loudest. It's you, giggling, turning red, trying to hide your face. That's what I carry with me every single day.

Our goodbye was strange — because it kept not happening.

We first thought the 17th was our last day. We hugged a lot. We even cried a little. When it was time for you to go home, I walked you all the way to the front door, and we ended up just sitting there, talking. Neither of us wanted to be the one to leave. It was an honest, painful goodbye. It hurt.

But then, on the 18th, you wanted to see me at the dorm one more time. So I came. Of course I came. I was sad on the way — my heart felt like it was shattering. You were a little delayed, so I waited in the park, looking up at the stars, wondering what I did to deserve such a punishment. Meeting the most wonderful person in the world, at the most unfortunate distance. It feels like a sick joke sometimes.

We talked a lot. And my dumbass cried. I never really cry — never, actually. But you made me cry several times. Not out of weakness. Out of injustice. Why am I meeting such an amazing person now, here, in such an unfortunate place and time? I want you and nothing else, so I won't give up. Ever. But still — it's so unfair.

When we tried to say our goodbyes for real, your amazing friend Sana suggested you just study at my hotel. I'm so grateful to her. You called your mom, and with a little bit of begging, she allowed it. So there we were — about to spend one more night together. Two goodbyes later, somehow still together.

I was an annoying brat. Keeping you awake, slightly distracting you from your assignment. We ended up not sleeping much because of me — and I still apologize for that. Before we knew it, you had to head to school and me to the airport.

The morning was strange. You wouldn't look at me. That made me insanely sad. I wanted to get one good look at your face. Make eye contact. Kiss you. Touch you. One last time. But you wouldn't allow it.

We got ready, left the hotel, and got on our last train ride together — toward your school. You cried a lot on the train, and it took everything in me to keep it together. To be strong.

When we arrived at the station, we walked hand in hand for the last time. In silence. Not much to be said. Not really knowing what to say.

Right before reaching your school, I wanted to hug and kiss you one last time. So I pulled you into an alley. And that last goodbye — it really hit hard.

I watched you walk toward school. I was frozen in place. You kept looking back, and the tears started forming. I kept watching you, but it was more than just watching. Every step you took was a step away from me. A distance that grew from nothing to ten meters, then a hundred, then a thousand — and before I knew it, kilometers.

I stayed frozen in place even after you entered the school. For about twenty more minutes. Just in case you came running outside for one more hug. One more kiss.

But that didn't happen.

I felt empty at that moment. Hollow, even. One month had passed like it was a week. It made no sense at all. Now all that was left to do was get to the airport and leave.

Once I got to the airport, I kept feeling this sense of missing something. Like I left the house without shoes on, or without my phone. But it wasn't something — it was someone. I was missing you by my side. It wasn't the same, just moving away from you like this.

I spent a lot of time thinking at the airport. Plans to move to Japan — even faster. Smaller things, bigger things. There is no doubt in my mind.

Minami, I love you. I loved you yesterday. I love you today. And I will love you tomorrow.

I want to grow old with you. It doesn't matter how many middle fingers I get or how mean you are — I'll accept it all, because it's from you.

Once I got on the plane, the reality started setting in. I heard people speaking Dutch and thought — this is it. I'm really leaving. I was just sitting there, my mind racing, so many thoughts flooding my head. It was truly indescribable how much impact you've had on me in such a short amount of time.

The doors closed. We taxied. And eventually, we took off. Just like that, I wasn't on Japanese soil anymore. Every minute that passed, I was moving away from you at 900 kilometers per hour. It's weird if you think about it.

But this isn't a goodbye, Minami.

This is how I experienced my trip. A trip I specifically planned to see you. There was no other goal than you. I didn't regret a single second I spent with you, or a single euro. Everything was worth it, and I would gladly do it all again.

I tried to keep it short — I know you don't really like reading too much. But I hope you could tolerate this, even a little.

I'll see you soon. That's not a hope. That's a promise.